First of all, I am sorry for the delay in blogging..I have been super busy with school and softball that I didn't have the time to just sit down and let you know what is on my mind.
So. Let me catch you up a little bit. Zac and I broke up. That's bout all you need to know about that. Nothing to depressing. Classes started and my life just disappeared. I injured my shoulder and had to get treatment on that (I still am actually), then I hurt my back at our first tournament and have been going to treatment for that as well. As far as injuries, yeah I am just broken no matter what I do to prevent it. (Not literally) We had our first Bethel College Softball tournament at McPherson on the 10th of September. We ended up coming out of that tournament 2-2, which is not bad for a beginning program and us girls had never played together. We were suppose to play at a Friends University tournament the 17th of September but due to inclement weather that was cancelled.
This last weekend I went home to see my dad. I miss him.....a lot! And it is always nice to go home to a lady that actually cares about me and wants to help me with anything I ask her about. I suppose I should mention that her name is Alicia. My dad really likes her and I dont disagree. I really like her as well, I get along better with her than I ever will with my mom. Anyways, we just chilled out and relaxed all weekend. Ate dinner with her on Saturday night and then went home to lay on my couch... ahhh...
But the part that this blog is really about. What do you want out of your life?? My grandma just wants to live another 20 or 30 years. But right now she is wondering if that will even happen. Saturday afternoon she was admitted to the hospital in Wichita Kansas called Wesley Medical Center. She was having chest pain, arm pains, and an irregular heart beat. Once she got to the hospital they started taking several test. Eventually they figured out she has a leaking heart valve. At the time they didn't think it was too terribly bad. Then today after I got out of practice my mom (hate it when she text me) text me and told me "Have you talked to gran? She has more news". When I read that I was thinking "Oh good! no surgery at all!" So, I called my grandma (who is back at home) and talked to her about what the news was... It was anything other than good news. The heart doctor called her and told her that her leakage is between medium to severe leaking. When she left the hospital they told her that she didn't need surgery right away and to come back in two months for a check up. Now they are telling her that she needs to come back in two weeks. Which means surgery is in the near future. Then another doctor called her and said that she has bilateral kidney nodules. Which is also bad. and could lead to surgery. AND THEN! her back doctor called her and told her that she has a compressed fracture in her L2 vertebrae which is also yet ANOTHER surgery. None of the other doctors can operate on her until her heart is fixed. The thought of all these surgeries is scary not only to her but to me. I am very close with my grandma. And I lost my grandpa to lung cancer almost 10 years ago. I cant even imagine losing my grandma... At this point in time its just not something i can handle.. its hard enough having my mom who walked out on me trying to walk back in. Then this all on top of that... Life...you just have to go with it.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Past to Present
Hey everyone, sorry for such a delay between my post its been pretty crazy around here and I finally got some time tonight to write. Lately there has been something kind of eating at me and I feel like I could share and get some responses. So here it goes, hope you enjoy.
The last 10 years I have been what you would call...unbelievable. No, not in a good way. There have been many different things that I have handled, must I say, the wrong way. A lot of people dont know this about me, only a select few do.
I used to live in Wichita Kansas, currently in Minneapolis Kansas. While I lived there I went through...a LOT! I went from the quiet kid that was always made fun of to the big bad bully that was always in the office. It all started when I was in grade school. One of my friends was being made fun of by a boy and I told him to stop. Well, the boy being a boy, refused to stop. That is when I decided to end things...POW! I punched the kid in the face. Then on he never made fun of my friend again.
A few years later I was attending Discovery Intermediate. There was this girl named Martha, she was kind of fat and red head with glasses. My friends and I were sitting at the lunch table next to her. She was all by herself. One of my friends had said some rude remarks to her. Then I was dared to throw some aluminum foil from our lunch at her. So, I did. Few hours later I spent some time in the office then was sent home for rest of day and recieved an ISS for 2 days. Also during my time at Discovery, I would copy my parents signatures on my test. Yes, I got in trouble for that as well.
Then I moved to Minneapolis Kansas beginning of my 7th grade year. I started out as the kid no one knew. I did everything in my power to be known. Therefore, I hung out with the not so great people. I did some not so great things. I would bully people around and make fun of everyone.
But, once I got into high school things started to change for me. I realized that the only reason that I was doing it was because I was one of those people being made fun of. I was weak and the only way I felt strong was to do what everyone else was doing. I began to treat others better and be more mixed with my friends. The thought of having people not like me because of who I talked to was actually nice to have. Meaning that I was making a difference. I know what it is like to be pushed into the lockers and called names, I was not about to let the people who get that take it all on alone. Throughout high school things got so much better for me.
Now, I am getting ready to start college. I am going to be the under dog again. But, I will not let that stop me from being the nice person I have changed myself to be. Recently I have met a guy, Zac, he is a full blood Christian. Which is really helpful for me. I am trying to rebuild my relationship with God, asking for forgiveness of all the cruel things I have done. He is such a great person all around. I tell him everyday that I am so glad I found him. We both have past. We both want to get away from them. In doing so, we help each other everyday by getting past it all. I could not ask for anything better than Zac.
It is amazing how life works. One day, I am the meanest girl in school. The next, I am the helping hand of those who struggle. I have to give credit to the Lord for giving me the opportunity in changing my life. Without that simple faith that He has in me, I wouldn't be who I am today. Take a brief look at what you have done. Are you wanting to change your ways, like I did? Well, I am 100% sure that if you ask for help He will give it to you. What are you waiting for!? He is listening right now!
Thank you! Hope you enjoyed!
Ky
The last 10 years I have been what you would call...unbelievable. No, not in a good way. There have been many different things that I have handled, must I say, the wrong way. A lot of people dont know this about me, only a select few do.
I used to live in Wichita Kansas, currently in Minneapolis Kansas. While I lived there I went through...a LOT! I went from the quiet kid that was always made fun of to the big bad bully that was always in the office. It all started when I was in grade school. One of my friends was being made fun of by a boy and I told him to stop. Well, the boy being a boy, refused to stop. That is when I decided to end things...POW! I punched the kid in the face. Then on he never made fun of my friend again.
A few years later I was attending Discovery Intermediate. There was this girl named Martha, she was kind of fat and red head with glasses. My friends and I were sitting at the lunch table next to her. She was all by herself. One of my friends had said some rude remarks to her. Then I was dared to throw some aluminum foil from our lunch at her. So, I did. Few hours later I spent some time in the office then was sent home for rest of day and recieved an ISS for 2 days. Also during my time at Discovery, I would copy my parents signatures on my test. Yes, I got in trouble for that as well.
Then I moved to Minneapolis Kansas beginning of my 7th grade year. I started out as the kid no one knew. I did everything in my power to be known. Therefore, I hung out with the not so great people. I did some not so great things. I would bully people around and make fun of everyone.
But, once I got into high school things started to change for me. I realized that the only reason that I was doing it was because I was one of those people being made fun of. I was weak and the only way I felt strong was to do what everyone else was doing. I began to treat others better and be more mixed with my friends. The thought of having people not like me because of who I talked to was actually nice to have. Meaning that I was making a difference. I know what it is like to be pushed into the lockers and called names, I was not about to let the people who get that take it all on alone. Throughout high school things got so much better for me.
Now, I am getting ready to start college. I am going to be the under dog again. But, I will not let that stop me from being the nice person I have changed myself to be. Recently I have met a guy, Zac, he is a full blood Christian. Which is really helpful for me. I am trying to rebuild my relationship with God, asking for forgiveness of all the cruel things I have done. He is such a great person all around. I tell him everyday that I am so glad I found him. We both have past. We both want to get away from them. In doing so, we help each other everyday by getting past it all. I could not ask for anything better than Zac.
It is amazing how life works. One day, I am the meanest girl in school. The next, I am the helping hand of those who struggle. I have to give credit to the Lord for giving me the opportunity in changing my life. Without that simple faith that He has in me, I wouldn't be who I am today. Take a brief look at what you have done. Are you wanting to change your ways, like I did? Well, I am 100% sure that if you ask for help He will give it to you. What are you waiting for!? He is listening right now!
Thank you! Hope you enjoyed!
Ky
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sometimes in life you get that deep gut feeling that something is really wrong. Today I am having one of those feelings. My best friend isnt talking to me. She hasnt since yesterday morning. I know that I shouldnt be all that worried about it because she is probably busy or something. But there is a little feeling inside me that makes me think I did something wrong.. I have no idea what I could have done.
Typically I would be okay and not concerned because I am used to being walked away from. But this time its different. She knows so much about me and I thought we had a great relationship. I am always talking to her, its like part of my daily routine. I guess the thought of losing her just hurts. Because i really have no one else to talk to. My mom has left my family. My dad is going through emotional wrecks everyday. And i just dont feel comfortable talking to anyone else. I only feel comfortable talking to her.. Is this the end? Do I just need to be my own best friend and not let anyone else in? It is hard to imagine us not talking. But I guess the God Lord does everything for a reason..right?
Typically I would be okay and not concerned because I am used to being walked away from. But this time its different. She knows so much about me and I thought we had a great relationship. I am always talking to her, its like part of my daily routine. I guess the thought of losing her just hurts. Because i really have no one else to talk to. My mom has left my family. My dad is going through emotional wrecks everyday. And i just dont feel comfortable talking to anyone else. I only feel comfortable talking to her.. Is this the end? Do I just need to be my own best friend and not let anyone else in? It is hard to imagine us not talking. But I guess the God Lord does everything for a reason..right?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Time Flies... or so it seems
Hey Everyone!
Today is July 5th 2011, WHERE HAS TIME WENT!!?? I remember a few months ago I was still sitting in a high school college algebra class thinking, "Get me out of here!" Which brings me to my topic of this blog.
Remember that first day of school? That first crash on your bike? That 16th birthday that you waited all your life for? Take a moment and think about those things. They really weren't that long ago. Time flies faster than you think. You know, speaking as a teenager at 17, we are always wishing time would speed up. "Get me out of this house, can i just be 18 already", "When is graduation", "Can not wait to get to college". But what we as teens do not realize is that reality is hard. You have bills, jobs, schooling and tons of finacial responsiblities. Are you really ready to take life by the horns like that? Are you prepared for any mid-life crisis?
As I went through high school, I became a little smarter each year about those types of things. I never realized that college was going to be so expensive. Since I was 7 I wanted to be a Vet, about my sophomore year I did some research and found information i should have found a long time ago. A vet has to go through multiple years of schooling, which in turn leds up to a large amount of money. Knowing that I began to take a new interest in a career. I began signing up for high school classes that linked to Athletic Training. I only have to finish 4 years of college and i will have my license. Also, I am a huge fan of sports. I feel sports is a good thing for people to do. It builds up self confidence and self respect. Now, I have been rushing to get out of high school yes. But on the road to college, I have been preparing myself! I applied for outside scholarships. As well as receiving a softball scholarship to Bethel College of North Newton. Working helps gain finacial responsiblity.
If you are a parent of a teenager or you are a teen yourself, take in consideration of everything i just told you about. Are you ready to handle the money? Do you have any idea of what you want your profession to be? You may think you have time to think about it, but look at how fast your life has went already. Time flies by, get the head start while you can. It makes your life so much easier, you wait till the day of high school graduation then you will be pulling your hair out. If you want the easy way, get started!
Thank you and God Bless,
Kylee
Today is July 5th 2011, WHERE HAS TIME WENT!!?? I remember a few months ago I was still sitting in a high school college algebra class thinking, "Get me out of here!" Which brings me to my topic of this blog.
Remember that first day of school? That first crash on your bike? That 16th birthday that you waited all your life for? Take a moment and think about those things. They really weren't that long ago. Time flies faster than you think. You know, speaking as a teenager at 17, we are always wishing time would speed up. "Get me out of this house, can i just be 18 already", "When is graduation", "Can not wait to get to college". But what we as teens do not realize is that reality is hard. You have bills, jobs, schooling and tons of finacial responsiblities. Are you really ready to take life by the horns like that? Are you prepared for any mid-life crisis?
As I went through high school, I became a little smarter each year about those types of things. I never realized that college was going to be so expensive. Since I was 7 I wanted to be a Vet, about my sophomore year I did some research and found information i should have found a long time ago. A vet has to go through multiple years of schooling, which in turn leds up to a large amount of money. Knowing that I began to take a new interest in a career. I began signing up for high school classes that linked to Athletic Training. I only have to finish 4 years of college and i will have my license. Also, I am a huge fan of sports. I feel sports is a good thing for people to do. It builds up self confidence and self respect. Now, I have been rushing to get out of high school yes. But on the road to college, I have been preparing myself! I applied for outside scholarships. As well as receiving a softball scholarship to Bethel College of North Newton. Working helps gain finacial responsiblity.
If you are a parent of a teenager or you are a teen yourself, take in consideration of everything i just told you about. Are you ready to handle the money? Do you have any idea of what you want your profession to be? You may think you have time to think about it, but look at how fast your life has went already. Time flies by, get the head start while you can. It makes your life so much easier, you wait till the day of high school graduation then you will be pulling your hair out. If you want the easy way, get started!
Thank you and God Bless,
Kylee
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Just to get started!
Hey! Im Kylee! I'm new to this stuff! Lindsay Bulk, my bff/sister/mommy, told me to check it out! Lets start with a little introduction for today!
Once again, I'm Kylee Marie Gragg. I live in this little town that most people have never heard of called Minneapolis. (Must i assure you the one in Kansas not Minnesota) I was born and raise in Wichita Kansas and regret having to leave. I've been through a lot in my 17 (almost 18) years of life. Everything i do is for my own good. I stress my grades because it is really important to me. I also play softball and basketball. I put so much time and sweat into my sports that I work myself to exhaustion. Sports has been the one thing that has kept me going all these years. Softball is my outlet. When I play it is like its just me and that bat and ball, nothing else to get in between us.
I have done serveral things in life i truely regret. But dont we all!? I used to be the one who "got around". Now ive changed, i no longer go out and party or ruin my life. It seems high school has changed me dramatically. Not to mention the great help I get from Lindsay and Kelly along with others who listen to me. I am a very different person, so to speak. My emotions are confusing. I tend to blame myself for things that are clearly not my fault. It is hard for me to see the good in things i guess. I just need a wake up call, yeah?
I am currently in the summer before my freshman year in college. In which i will be attending Bethel College. While at Bethel, I will be playing softball and majoring in Athletic Training. Most people thing I am crazy for not doing cross country since i got 4th in 3A KSHSAA State in the fall of 2010. Its just not my thing. Anyways, I dont let many things stand in my way of life. But there are just sometimes where the quick sand is too quick for me to walk through. If you knew what i was referring to you would understand.
Well, I think i have rambled enough about me and my life! I hope you enjoy the rest of my blogging!!! Have a great day and God Bless
Once again, I'm Kylee Marie Gragg. I live in this little town that most people have never heard of called Minneapolis. (Must i assure you the one in Kansas not Minnesota) I was born and raise in Wichita Kansas and regret having to leave. I've been through a lot in my 17 (almost 18) years of life. Everything i do is for my own good. I stress my grades because it is really important to me. I also play softball and basketball. I put so much time and sweat into my sports that I work myself to exhaustion. Sports has been the one thing that has kept me going all these years. Softball is my outlet. When I play it is like its just me and that bat and ball, nothing else to get in between us.
I have done serveral things in life i truely regret. But dont we all!? I used to be the one who "got around". Now ive changed, i no longer go out and party or ruin my life. It seems high school has changed me dramatically. Not to mention the great help I get from Lindsay and Kelly along with others who listen to me. I am a very different person, so to speak. My emotions are confusing. I tend to blame myself for things that are clearly not my fault. It is hard for me to see the good in things i guess. I just need a wake up call, yeah?
I am currently in the summer before my freshman year in college. In which i will be attending Bethel College. While at Bethel, I will be playing softball and majoring in Athletic Training. Most people thing I am crazy for not doing cross country since i got 4th in 3A KSHSAA State in the fall of 2010. Its just not my thing. Anyways, I dont let many things stand in my way of life. But there are just sometimes where the quick sand is too quick for me to walk through. If you knew what i was referring to you would understand.
Well, I think i have rambled enough about me and my life! I hope you enjoy the rest of my blogging!!! Have a great day and God Bless
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